My lips hurt real bad

Riddle me this...

2005-09-08T02:33:00.000-04:00

When did my job go from "cushy" office job to " I'd rather wake up dead face down in a pool of my own vomit than go in today" job?

You are not getting sleepy

2005-06-15T07:16:00.000-04:00

So whats with me and my late night posts? Well, now days I am working at nightish shift of 4pm to about 1am at a call center. While I am not thrilled about this, it is money, something I am in dire need of (who isnt?). Right now I am in training and of course it has its ups and downs. There are some really cool people in the class, but it is the shitheads who have me contemplating getting up and walking out just about every second of the day. These are the people who need to know every little detail about every little thing right then and there. The guy I sit beside, at my suggestion, decided to count retarded questions and comments made by two girls in the class. These two girls are fraternal twins, yet are basically attached at the hip. They have had the same jobs, always trained together and have always quit together, and it doesnt appear this trend will be changing anytime soon. Ryan counted 52 questions and comments in just one hour, thats over 400 questions and stupid comments in the run of an eight hour shift. Needless to say, I am going fucking insane, along with all of the others in the class. We have resorted to outright snickering everytime they speak, none of us have any shame about it anymore. As training continues, assuming these girls dont drive me to kill myself, I will probably have some more sorted tales from the Cendant training room.

PS. Keep those plates coming!

Personalized Licence Plate Database

2005-06-14T07:00:00.000-04:00

New Brunswick:

1000000 (I can only guess they won big at bingo)
3M TA3 (it says EAT ME if you see it in your rearview mirror!)
6 AM
BAC DOC
CIVIC
DOGS
DRACULA
GIVE'ER
JEEP
JENNY
QUILTS
SASSY
SASSY2
TOONCES (this one is actually clever)
WORKER
XOXOXO
8675309 (you know the tune!)
SMILEY

contributers: Jennifer, Jeffrey

Southern Belle?

2005-05-31T19:18:00.000-04:00

Today I finally made the two phone calls that I have been avoiding for quite a long time. First, I called the University of Ottawa to get an update on my waitlist status. Currently, I am still on the waitlist and was told to call back in 2 weeks. The good news is that my friend Lori, who is also on the wait list called and they told her that they were cutting the wait list down and that she was not on the new list (Sorry Lori). I guess that means that I made the cut and am still in the running.
My second call was to St. Mary's University in Halifax to make a similar inquiry. This call was short and sweet - still no decision. Again, somewhat good news (again, sorry Lori) because Lori called them and they advised her to apply next year, implying she wasnt getting in. No such implication to me.
All in all, I'm right back where I started, still waiting.
As a result of all of this waiting, I have started to apply for jobs where I will be able to put my degree to good use. Chris found me a job to apply for in West Virginia working for the National White Collar Crime Center. I would be working as a curriculum developer, developing training materials for the organization. With my "expertise" in the white collar crime area, I think this job would be perfect for me.
Well thats the update for now. Later haters.

Barf like you mean it.

2005-05-20T03:57:00.000-04:00

I know that I promised more commentary on my graduation, but that was when it was fresh and new. As some of you know, I have been ghastly sick over the last two weeks, especially the last 7 days so I haven't really felt like rehashing my grad events. Really, you didn't miss much, and if there was something funny/interesting, chances are that I already told you about it.

The reason for todays post is to begin something that I have been thinking about for a few weeks now. Everyone knows that one of my biggest pet peeves is personalized licence plates. I have decided to dedicate a section on my blog to these worldly wonders, the good, the bad and the ugly. While I admit there are a few that have given me an honest chuckle, most are generally scoffed at or mercilessly mocked. So I plan on keeping a log of these gems, and adding to it on a regular basis. Feel free to send me any that you see in your day to day goings on.

Jennifer, ESQ

2005-05-11T19:00:00.000-04:00

Well its official, I am a university graduate! Can I get a 'Whoot Whoot'! Graduation was an interesting and eventful day, full of smiles, laughter and eye rolling. First there was a grad rehearsal which comprised of us sitting out in the freezing cold filling out surveys for the university. The grad was outside, its a tradition at STU and unless it is raining, the events will be held outside. So we froze outside for about an hour, then Mel and I went to get some much needed food at the ever popular Diplomat. Then it was off to get ready for the real grad. Not too much eventful happened until we started lining up in order. Now, unfortunatly, honours students like myself were left for the very end, unlike other grads I have been to where they go first! Whatever! I guess STU feels like if honours students go at the end, the grad is ending with a bang! The criminology department is 2nd in line, only anthropology was ahead. At first I was releived that the anthro guy showed up, that way I wouldnt be the first honours student to graduate (I dont know why I had a problem with this!). Then he opened his mouth. This guy was the most annoying person I have ever some across in my life. I know I say that about just about everybody, but seriously, this guy took the cake. I'm going to steal something from Chris here to demonstrate what a douche bag this guy was.

Red flag #1 - he was a loudtalker. You know, the kind of guys who feel the need to talk as loud as possible, probably in a sad and unsuccessful attempt to show how cool they are.
Red flag #2 - he had balls/gall. He got up and left the ceremony, not once, not twice, but three times people! First, he had to pee. Now we had 1 hour of standing around before the grad started but I guess he didnt feel that it would have been a good idea to do it then. Second, he was thirsty. You know what? So was I, but I sat in my seat and waited until the grad was over. Third (and my personal favourite) the dry heave. Now he was nice enough to leave before the heaving started, but I was lucky enough to be treated to 2 dry heaves once he came back.
Red flag #3 - the comment guy. This guy had commentary on just about everything that anyone said. Now I know I am guilty of this myself at times, but I can keep my mouth shut in front of 500 strangers who dont give a flying fuck!
Red flag #4 - the rocker dude. His long lushious (read - greasy) locks flowed past his shoulders and down his back. Now this should have been my first red flag, and I guess it was, but I thought I would organize my red flags in order of annoyance.

OK, so that is just the beginning of my graduation commentary. I will finish my day in review later.

Jenn

You can't do that on Television!

2005-04-05T05:15:00.000-04:00

All last week Oprah was hyped up to be one humdinger of a show. First, it was enough that she was going to be interviewing the ever interesting, ever boobalicious Simon Cowell, but we were led to believe that he was going to be debuting some sexy bitch with a rockin' voice. Rumors were that it was current Idol contestant Carrie Underwood, but I knew better. Bringing on an Idol contestant before the contest was even close to being over would be lawsuit city. Not to mention heartbreaking for Anwar and the rest of the Idol riffraff.
Instead, we were introduced to Il Divo (no, your thinking of Devo), some bullshit quartet of male opera singers. Now the whole lead up to this show was some serious misleading crap, borderline false advertising. What made things worse, these guys seriously sucked. Perhaps it was the fact that it was opera, perhaps that it was all sung in Italian, or perhaps that it was a remake of the Toni Braxton classic 'Unbreak my Heart'. Perhaps all of the above. You don't remake Toni Braxton, you just don't. If I had to hear Oprah and Simon compare goosebumps for another second, I would have barfed, right there, all over my new Il Divo CD.
Thankfully, it was time for a commercial and 3 minutes of looking forward to another 30 minutes of Simon. But wait! Simon is done and Oprah is interviewing some fashion designer! Clenching my Il Divo CD, I screamed for more Simon. He did come back to me at the end, but he brought along Joss Stone. Not the rockin' hottie I was quite expecting, but better than the opera boys.
The point I guess that I'm trying to make is that so many shows throw out these commercials with great hooks to make you want to watch, and then only disappoint. After getting fooled once or twice or ten times, what is the point of ever watching the show again. This happens all the time, especially on the news. I mean how many times have you heard something like "It can kill you and it may be in your mouth right now! More tonight at 11"
In the words of a dear friend of mine "There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."

Blah

2005-03-23T03:47:00.000-05:00

Thats all I have to say.

What? I thought you were dead!

2005-03-05T03:35:00.000-05:00

My obsession with reality television is reaching fever pitch once again, although I have to say that I am very proud of a break through that I had tonight. I actually went to the library instead of watching the Apprentice! Crazy says wha?? I know! Normally I would be glued to my TV on Thursday night for a ridicules number of hours (though not just reality TV) but I actually accomplished something school related. Pat on the back for me.

My obsession resurfaced recently with the start of American Idol and yesterdays premiere of the Amazing Race. The Race has always been a favorite of mine, and yesterdays episode was one of the best ever! The gay couple is my fave team, they are hilarious. Lynn is by far the best, the sheep cuddle was a classic moment in television history. Fellow viewers, back me up here. I entered a Race pool on www.tvgasm.com (too late to enter folks) and here are my picks, for the record, so I can't pretend I picked the winners when I really didn't. This is who I chose as the final 3 teams:
1. Rob and Amber - Survivor lameasses but a pretty strong team
2. Brian and Greg - Bandana Brothers! (doesnt have quite the same ring as Mormon Sisters!
[Mokler, 2004])
3. Lynn and Alex - (earlier mentioned HI-larious gay couple)

My teams finished 3,4,5 this week, I think thats a sign.

Another show capturing my attention is American Idol. These people suck at singing for the most part, and made their way to the top 24 with slightly better than average renditions of Fallin'. This is the key song to get past the first round and may help you out in later rounds. Its one of those songs (maybe the only) that even the worst singer can sound pretty good singing. Sorta made me lose respect for Alicia but she's good on other songs so she keeps my mad props. Right now there is a few people on the show that have got to go. One chick is this trailer trash hoe bag Janay. She is the worst and a seriously nasty smear campaign needs to be run against her.

Anyways I could get into some bullshit analysis of reality television (or television in general) being the downfall of society, but it would all be hypocritical crap. I love TV and noone can convince me that it is corrupting my brain (or whatever other self righteous crap people spew). I feel like I should say more on this subject but I just don't have it in me right now.

Compare this, bitch!

2005-02-23T03:05:00.000-05:00

Deadlines are bullshit.

Okay, I realize that the above statement is, in fact, what is bullshit. How would anything ever get done without deadlines?? Basically, my frustration with deadlines today comes from the recent shakedown of us honours students in our department. Several months ago, we were told that a draft of our thesis had to be in by May 8th (the day before graduation, and at the time it was 6 months away). Now, the profs have changed their minds and want the completed thesis on their desks April 8th! Tell me that is not bullshit! So basically, 4 weeks of work time has been shaved off, leaving only 6 weeks to finish.

This thesis will be the death of me (I think I've said that before).

A major frustration has been the serious lack of organization of this department. I realize that we are the first batch of honours students in the criminology department, but seriously, couldn't they have consulted with another department that has a long standing history of honours students? Did they really have to turn this into a fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants operation? The countdown to getting out of this Mess-o-education that is Saint Thomas University has truly begun!

So I decided today that I'm pretty much a stone cold bitch. I never really noticed before, but I really am. Maybe its just around certain people who really piss me off. For example, there is this dude in 2 of my classes (for purposes of realism, I will call him Hootie). Hootie is about the most obnoxious person that ever existed. Don't even think that you know someone even more obnoxious, because you don't! Straight up!

Anyways, I realized that I have no shame in making fun of this bastard right in front of his face. I don't care if he hears me. Now, usually I would care. I mercilessly make fun of people all of the time, but if ever busted, I am thouroughly embarrassed. Not so with Hootie. That is stone cold.

I can live with it.

Jenn

Smells like corral.

2005-02-22T05:11:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm still kinda feeling like I don't want to be in the honours program but I'm feeling a bit better about my overall situation. Tonight I found out that the thesis is due one month earlier than I thought, which oddly enough did not send me over the edge.

Tonight I talked with Shelley and Mel who are in my program and we had one of the best phone conversations I've had in a long time (first 3 way call since junior high!). We all vented alot about how bullshit our program is and made fun of people in our classes. It was nice to have a conversation about something other than school, although we spent a large portion of our time making fun of people in our classes. It was awesome to make fun of these people with others who understood exactly where I was coming from rather than making fun of them to third parties who have no idea who these people are (does that make sense?). I think I need to have more conversations like that! Thanks guys!

Anyways, its 2am and I should really be going to bed but I wanted to update since its been so long. More later.

Jenn

PS. Mel-hope your T&A feel better
PPS. Shelly-please stay!

Let me out!

2005-02-07T22:20:00.000-05:00

Today has been a particularly shitty day. I'm not sure why, but suddenly I just had this wave of depression and hopelessness fall over me. Not that this hasn't happened to me before, in fact for a while depression consumed me and my life. But in recent months, things had turned around and I had gained an appriciation for life and was decently happy. Today I became overwhelmed with the idea that "I don't want to do this anymore!" By that, I mean the honours program. I know that everyone in the program has gone through the feelings of drowning, so maybe its finally my turn.

Today I've cried like I've never cried in a really long time. Part of me feels affected by feelings of loss. This weekend I was helping my mom hang photographs and she wanted to find a good picture of Blue, my dog who died 2 years ago. Flipping through countless photos, I wanted to cry then, but held it back so maybe its just hitting me today. I miss her so much, I've felt at times that I lost everything I ever truly loved when Blue died. I guess thats pretty depressing.

I've also started realizing how much I want to get out of this town. I hate it here, and I've hated it for a long time. I mean, I realized all of this before, but applying to grad schools has really motivated me to get out of here. Whether or not I get into grad school next year, I have pretty much made the decision to leave. Hopefully I can get a job far away and only have to see this crap hole on holidays when I come to visit family.

Well time to dry my eyes and get back to work.

Jenn

Finally

2005-01-31T14:01:00.000-05:00

Well grad school applications are finally out and not a minute sooner than they had to be. I live life on the edge of everything, including deadlines. But seriously, one of my profs who was writing me a reference letter waited until today to give them to me (applications are due tomorrow), which was probably some lesson in procastination because I am usually the worst procrastinator. Hell, I've even given myself the title of Princess Procrastinor (the above mentioned prof is now my queen). But I was actually done them a few days ago, which would have saved me from having to overnight the 3 applications at a cost of $55 plus $60, $70 and $75 in application fees. I don't know what that adds up to, but its a lot.

I have to say, it is a relief to finally have those bullshit applications done. Now the waiting begins.

Work is about to be turned upside down because I am about the stir the pot. This bitch (I'll call her M) who used to work there and left without any notice is now coming back because the main hoebag (now A)who makes the hiring decisions is friends with her. I'm sorry, but anyone who leaves like that is a BAD employee and should not be rehired. Not only did she leave the place high and dry but she was a fuck up when she did work there! "M" told her current co-workers that she was coming back to work where I work because there was a special project that we needed her for. This is of course a complete lie, but thats her specialty along with spying on everyone and telling the above mentioned hoebag everything that goes on and everything that is said. And what do I plan to do about it? Well I am calling her out on this lie in front of everyone. Not one of those in-your-face calling outs but more innocent and naive about her lies. "M" is going down hardcore! Basically, my point is that I want her to know that I can get info about her just as much as she can share it with other people! Oh yea, I can't wait.
Stay tuned for my future entry about getting fired.

Peace Out

Jenn

Cash or credit

2005-01-24T20:54:00.000-05:00

With the simple entry of my Mastercard number, I made a potentially life altering move tonight. I am no longer writing the LSAT in February, I have instead changed the date to June for the reasonable (sarcasm) price of $35 (Yankee scratch). On the surface it sounds like no big deal, but essentially I have made the decision to NOT go to law school next year. It's weird, I have wanted to be a lawyer for so long,yet it feels like I was able to make this decision so easily. It's not like I just decided not to go, I just dont have the time to do well on the LSAT, but in June I will have the time to study for it. I know from experience that I cannot take this lightly, I don't want to be the girl who was writing it for the 4th time (apparently I'm ok with just 3 times!). I don't really know how to feel about this, part of me is happy because that is one thing I dont have to be worrying about for the next few months. Part of me is sad because I feel like I've just killed the lawyer dream, a dream that has been alive and kicking as far back as I can remember, which is 3 months.
I also had a realization today thanks to Oprah. I need to get out there and do something, you know, try and make a difference. Today Oprah had Ricky Martin (whatever happened to that loco bastard?) on her show talking about his visit to Asia where he visited the areas most devastated by the Tsunami. He was talking about needing volunteers to rebuild houses in the area and volunteers to deliver aide to all of the people affected. I found myself really wanting to go there and DO something (not just for Ricky). There was also segments about child trafficking and the genocide in Africa. I thought about how I always think that my life is so shitty, but at least I have a home and don't have to live in fear of people coming and raping me or killing my entire family. Then I thought that I can't do anything, I mean how would I pay my bills if I spent the summer building houses in Asia? I thought about how fucking selfish it was to think that, but how fucking realistic it is at the same time. And how it all fucking sucks! I want to do something but I am tied down by the restraints of a capitalist system that demands I make my minimum credit card payments each and every month.
Now is the time that I would normally say how much my life sucks, but today, I just can't.

Jenn

For love of the chase

2005-01-15T19:15:00.000-05:00

Ugh. So I am now starting to apply for grad schools and law schools. I have pretty much narrowed my choices down to 3 grad schools (SMU, SFU, and U of O) and 2 law schools (USask and UNB). I am writing the LSAT on Feb 12, and I am not looking forward to that. I guess I know what to expect now and hopefully I can pull it off.
Work, as usual is total bullshit. People are getting laid off left and right for no reason other than the boss having a panic. She is so unrealistic about projects and how long they will take and how many people are needed. However, she does not care about people. I believe she has been quoted as saying "If they(her employess) don't like it (the bullshit) they can find another job". I know I can't unless I want to work at some stupid fastfood joint again, and I am sorry but that will never happen. So many people are drunk with power there and they think running the place like a dictatorship, where everyone lives in fear of their rath will make for a more productive work environment. I'm sorry, but I am not productive when I'm trying not to pee my pants in fear that I too will face the lay off.
School this semester is awesome. I am taking 3 classes and they all rock. I only needed to take 2 but I have been swayed to stay in all 3. My classes are Ethnography of Crime, Discourse in Crime and Peacemaking Criminology. All 3 profs are awesome and the seminar setting is perfect.
The only thing standing in the way of the perfect semester and therefore perfect graduation, is a looming faculty strike. Hopefully that won't happen and life can go on and I can graduate May 9th, 2005.
Anyways, my blog is totally boring but some day, some time, something funny will happen and I will undoubtably write about it.

Jenn

On the bandwagon

2005-01-11T23:27:00.000-05:00

So I decided to join the hoards of people deserting one blog for another. Not that I hadn't abandoned my previous blog months ago. I jumped ship on the bitch without really giving it a chance. I don't know what makes me think this time will be any different, but I will give it my all. If nothing else, this will be the perfect distraction from writing my thesis and various other bullshit I am suppose to do for school. As you all know, I am the worlds worst, nay, best procrasinator. Par example, I should be doing some work on said thesis right now, but I'm not!
I am now in the process of applying for grad schools and that is another stressor. There are 4 I really want to apply to, but thats $400 out of pocket just to apply! Its all fucking bullshit.
Without much to write for now I shall bid adieu and make the empty promise of updating on a regular basis.

Peace Out